On my mind.

Some things that are on my mind right now-

So I'm not depressed, as I thought I might have been a week ago. I was actually more worried that I was STARTING to get depressed as opposed to actually BEING depressed. I can't think of a time when I was truly depressed, because I normally kick myself in the ass when I feel like I'm being a pathetic asshole. So anytime I've started to feel overly mopey and overly sorry for myself, to the point where it's just childish and no longer acceptable, I've always given myself a good punch (metaphorically...I don't actually beat myself in the head) and told myself it's time to get the fuck over it.

So when I consider the reality of things, I'm really not all that off the mark. I'm a 21-year-old who's been in junior college for over a year longer than he should've been who would rather read a Marie Anotinette biography than go drinking at some frat bar and is still in love with his boyfriend that broke up with him two weeks ago. Really, am I that bad off? Everyone's been in the same boat I'm currently in, everyone's had their heart broken and everyone's loved someone that didn't love them back. And you know what? The world keeps on turning.

The good thing is, I guess if there can be a good thing from all of this, that Brandon understands I'm still in love with him and though it's a bit uncomfortable when we're trying to establish a strictly platonic relationship, he knows I just have to give myself time to get over him and he doesn't think I'm a pathetic baby because of it. So I guess that's a good thing, because he could always be an ass about it and just tell me I'm creeping him out and to leave him alone, but this shows that he does still care and I do still play an important role in his life, even if he doesn't feel the same way anymore.

Then the big question is, once again- are things really that bad? From what I've learned these past two weeks- no. And will things get better? Well, around this time last year I thought I would never find a suitable boyfriend and I'd be single until God knows when, and guess what- I ended up having a boyfriend for pretty much most of 2007. So what does that prove? That proves that hey, good things will happen when you least expect it. So instead of whining and being a baby about everything, just go out there, live your life, do your thing, and good things will come your way.