Better.

Things are slowly getting better. It's still only been four days, but today is the first day where I haven't cried and overall I feel more hopeful than I have these past few days.

I went over and visited him for a little bit last night, and I think that did exactly what I hoped it would. I think a big part of my sadness was the fact that I went from seeing him or at least talking to him every single day for 9 months straight, to after one night having no communication with him at all. So I texted him and asked him if I'd be able to talk to him after he got off work, and he said that'd be fine. So I went over, we asked each other how we were doing. It seems like we're both in the same place, we were both upset and having a hard time coping with it, but he seemed like he was starting to get to the healing point, which is where I feel like I am right now. It was a little awkward, we both admitted, but we sort of laughed about it, and we both agreed that we'll eventually be comfortable with each other.

That really made me feel good, seeing him and knowing that everything really is going to be fine between us. It's like I've been telling everyone- there aren't hard feelings at all. I'm not angry with him, I'm not scornful, I'm not bitter. I was upset these past few days because this was my first serious relationship and I truly do care about him and love him, but I know he had his reasons for making this decision. I want him to do what he feels is best for him, even if that means sacrificing some of my happiness. Because you don't want to be with someone that isn't completely sure of being with you, right? Right. I know he cares about me and it does provide a lot of comfort that he wants to continue being part of my life.

So, in conclusion, everything is slowly but surely starting to get better. Like I said, no tears today, so hopefully that continues. :) I'm hopeful for the future, and I know eventually I'll meet someone new and this experience has only made me understand more of what I'm looking for and what I want in a relationship.

In other news, I'm extremely excited for the Christmas dinner and for Disneyland. Another thing about last night, Brandon had said that he had put down he wasn't sure if he'd go to the dinner just because he didn't know how I'd feel about it, but I told him it wouldn't bother me, and I'd like it if he still went, so that should be fun. But yes, Christmas dinner and Disneyland. Should be uber-fun.