Here's what I've decided.

I've made a decision.

As of Dec. 8, 2007, Mark is officially on a complete break from guys.

It's not anything out of bitterness, but I've realized that, even though before I met Brandon I was single for three years, in reality I haven't been completely uninvolved with guys for anything longer than maybe two or three months. Because in some way or other, I've still talked to guys, still gone on occassional dates, and you know what- I think I'm kind of over it for now.

I've only been single for a week so I'm not going to jump into anything anytime soon. And obviously, if I do jump into anything soon all I'm going to do is think about how he's not Brandon and constantly compare him to Brandon (since I still have feelings for Brandon, obviously). So either way it's just not going to work.

Plus, I really need to get myself to understand that you don't HAVE to have some type of guy interest to be happy, whether it be a boyfriend or a flirt or an occassional hook-up. I need to focus on my friends, focus on my family, focus on ME, focus on school, focus on work, focus on doing the things I want and just letting everything else fall into place.

So with that said, I guess I'm just continuing down the path to finding myself. I'm in a position I certainly wasn't expecting myself to be, I was expecting to still have a boyfriend and to be working with that. But plans change, so you just have to adapt and let life take you where it will.

THE GOOD NEWS IS, on a different note, that my grandparents are coming sometime this week and we're going to start making tamales, so I'll be able to have some to bring for the Christmas dinner. I know you all are excited.