Music blog numero 1.

Every now and then I'll do a little rant or commentary or whatever the Jesus you want to call it on music. I have to practice for when I'm running my own witty, sarcastic music magazine.

Here are some new songs currently making the waves.

Justin Timberlake "SexyBack"
"You see these shackles, baby?" Justin inquires within this song. The only shackles I'm seeing are the ones clamped down on any possibility of an 'N Sync reunion, for judging by this material it looks like the rest of the guys will be popping a squat in JT's shadow for many albums to come. I'm thinking JC Chasez is probably annoyed that the sounds on his ignored-for-shit album "Schizophrenic" have been essentially ripped off here on "SexyBack"- that whole hip-hop meets dirty electro, complete with naughty quips like "I'll let you whip me if I misbehave". No doubt a huge hit on our hands here, and as long as Justin appears half naked in the video, I'll be sound as a pound.

Fergie "London Bridges"
The results of a sad plastic surgeon's joke gone terribly wrong. The woman who feigned a Jamaican accent on a few Black Eyed Peas tunes and pissed her trousers onstage suddenly woke up one morning and thought, "Hmm, this sounds like a jolly day to ditch my money-makers and strike it rich all by my weasly self!" Upon which the world closed their doors in her over-operated face and kindly said "No thank you".

Bananarama "Look On the Floor (Hypnotic Tango)"
Only in the 20th century can a wretched '80s group go from having their best-known song licensed for a Venus razor ad to suddenly having the No.2 club hit in America. Of course it won't cross to the pop charts, we ARE Americans, after all, but it's nice to know that drag queens and club kids from Boston to San Diego will be jumping around to these 30-year-old tarts.

Cassie "Me & U"
Sounds like Aaliyah's younger cousin doing a lesser version of "Try Again". One hell of a keyboard twinkle also. Sounds like I may have found my guilty R&B pleasure of the season.

As you can see, a rather interesting mix of tunes this summer. All I can say is pop is surely making a comeback, and thank Allah for that.