Beyonce...she continues crashing...

Here's what happens when someone very young, not all that experienced though talented as she is, is given too much praise and freedom far too soon. After becoming the bootylicious dictator of Destiny's Child and then saying "see ya bitches" to strike it on her own, Ms. Knowles became the unofficial president of the world almost instantly. But with Dangerously In Love, she had good reasons to be so insanely popular- she had some cracking good singles (namely "Crazy In Love", but the others were just as delicious). But lately, the B has been slacking off. Earlier this year she unleashed "Check On It"- not surprisingly a huge hit, if not the most irritating single of 2006 by far. Now she's trying to get our attention with "Deja Vu", and it's floundering on the charts. This week it slipped to No.32 down from No.30, no doubt due to that what the fuck of a video. Honestly. Who told Beyonce that dancing like a psychotic spasmic freak of nature was a brilliant idea? Not ot mention the song is devoid of any remotely interesting hooks or a chorus. Lazy is what I call it. Just lazy. She applied herself on "Crazy In Love", determined to keep up with that groove and those horns before they ran her over and smashed that beautiful face into the asphault. "Deja Vu" is a lackluster attempting-to-be-funky-but-really-just-dull exercise in overhauled funk and bass crap. Bah. I'm thoroughly disappointed. Even the new Christina Aguilera single is better, and for me to admit that is indeed a huge problem.

What the hell?

I try to log in to Myspace today, and they're saying my account's been deleted???


Uhhhhh...noooooooo?

UPDATE: Nevermind. It's working haha.

I found this just now. It's interesting, because when I finished reading it I realized just how true it was. I'm sure it's obvious who the Gemini is:

Cancer and Gemini

Lively Gemini and sensual Cancer are often attracted to each other, but deep down there's little in common. One of the key points of attraction is the lively Geminian wit and great sense of humour, but sadly the Twins have a habit of playing games with love that will soon wound your sensitive feelings. The scatty, flirtatious behaviour so characteristic of the Twins will soon make you feel very insecure, so an affair is likely to be quite volatile. Sensual Cancer, a Water Sign. is ruled by the changing Moon, while chatty Gemini, an Air Sign, is ruled by communicative Mercury. Mercury is optimistic, outward-looking and communicative, but can be critical and cutting, while the Moon is nurturing, inward-looking and growth-oriented, but changeable and moody.

You'll need to develop mutual goals and work together on projects that you can share, so that the energies can be put to work instead of degenerating into jealousy and restlessness. If you can find a common goal, Gemini's remarkable social networking skills and lively command of language can be a fantastic asset, while your command of financial matters and ability to focus beyond the moment will keep the Twins on track and functional. This relationship is not going to be easy, but if you make the effort, it will be rewarding. Sexually you are intense and deeply emotional, while Gemini tends to get bored easily and is rarely in it for the long haul. Gemini has a deliciously light touch and initially finds your sensuality and romantic imagination intriguing, but basically the Twins are rather too shallow and too superficial to please you for long.

Do you have enough in common for a long-term relationship? You seek security and domesticity, but Gemini hates being tied down. Can you endure the constant round of parties, the restlessness and the gossip line - not to mention the execrable taste in clothes? Only if there are excellent compensating aspects between Moon and other chart factors should you expect this match to endure much past the initial sexual attraction.



So can we talk about how much that hit it on the head? Seriously. Perfectly explains everything I, as the Cancer, was feeling about him, as the Gemini.

There's a part of me that truly is disappointed that our opportunities were not taken advantage of, that we didn't just take what was there and ran with it, no matter what the outcome. That's the romantic side of me.

The practical side of me is thankful things concluded when they did, thankful that we maintained balance and ultimately discovered it was not the right circumstance. I don't think about you as much as I used to, and though I smile every time I talk with you, laugh at everything you say, it's not the smile or the laugh that I used to have around you. And that makes me feel somewhat relieved and somewhat defeated all at once.

Better hop in the shower. My grandparents are coming soon to take me to lunch for my birthday, then I'll see what Ms. Brittany is doing. I think we need some good old bonding, just me and her. We haven't done that in a while.

Music blog numero 1.

Every now and then I'll do a little rant or commentary or whatever the Jesus you want to call it on music. I have to practice for when I'm running my own witty, sarcastic music magazine.

Here are some new songs currently making the waves.

Justin Timberlake "SexyBack"
"You see these shackles, baby?" Justin inquires within this song. The only shackles I'm seeing are the ones clamped down on any possibility of an 'N Sync reunion, for judging by this material it looks like the rest of the guys will be popping a squat in JT's shadow for many albums to come. I'm thinking JC Chasez is probably annoyed that the sounds on his ignored-for-shit album "Schizophrenic" have been essentially ripped off here on "SexyBack"- that whole hip-hop meets dirty electro, complete with naughty quips like "I'll let you whip me if I misbehave". No doubt a huge hit on our hands here, and as long as Justin appears half naked in the video, I'll be sound as a pound.

Fergie "London Bridges"
The results of a sad plastic surgeon's joke gone terribly wrong. The woman who feigned a Jamaican accent on a few Black Eyed Peas tunes and pissed her trousers onstage suddenly woke up one morning and thought, "Hmm, this sounds like a jolly day to ditch my money-makers and strike it rich all by my weasly self!" Upon which the world closed their doors in her over-operated face and kindly said "No thank you".

Bananarama "Look On the Floor (Hypnotic Tango)"
Only in the 20th century can a wretched '80s group go from having their best-known song licensed for a Venus razor ad to suddenly having the No.2 club hit in America. Of course it won't cross to the pop charts, we ARE Americans, after all, but it's nice to know that drag queens and club kids from Boston to San Diego will be jumping around to these 30-year-old tarts.

Cassie "Me & U"
Sounds like Aaliyah's younger cousin doing a lesser version of "Try Again". One hell of a keyboard twinkle also. Sounds like I may have found my guilty R&B pleasure of the season.

As you can see, a rather interesting mix of tunes this summer. All I can say is pop is surely making a comeback, and thank Allah for that.

I spilled my milk.

I guess it's typical to feel this way, but each day I wake up itching.

The itching hasn't stopped, as much as I've tried to convince myself that things are fine and they will work out on their own.

As much as I tell myself that, I can't stop itching. I want to jump out, I want to cut loose, I want to drive somewhere I've never been before.

I want to see new faces, meet new souls, get some new thrills.

Seems like lately I haven't been satisfied. I love the people I know already, I'm thankful for what I have, but does my glass only look half full? What is it that I'm missing?

I'm missing freedom. I'm missing living in the moment. I wish I could find them, because I know this is the time in my life where I should be embracing them the most. Pretty soon it'll be too late, and my regrets will be far and wide.

Pickles.

A few things.

A. My birthday dinner was a blast. Had a fantastic time. Loved it.

B. Work is going quite well. I'm enjoying it.

C. Tigerheat tonight- yeeeeeeeeah.

D. This really gets under my skin. Spencer replied to a bulletin I posted yesterday about how much fun we had at BJ's, and he said "Glad I was invited".

...

That really irks me. When was the last time Spencer and I hung out? Honestly, I can't remember. When was the last time we called each other? Well the only time in recent memory that I can recall that he called me was to ask if I knew of any parties to go to and if he could go along with me. Wow, thanks. And on my birthday, did he even call me to say happy birthday? And he expected to be invited to my birthday dinner?

It's not that I have anything against Spencer, because I don't. But we're not exactly the best of friends anymore. It's not that I dislike him, but we simply don't hang out or talk that much anymore. My birthday dinner was with people that I consider to be my closest friends, and frankly he's not on that level with me anymore. He's got his own friends, his own life, I've got my friends and my own life, and that's fine and dandy. Besides, I know he's only disappointed that he wasn't invited because it was a big gathering that he was left out on. He wouldn't have gone because it was MY birthday, he probably just wanted to come hang out with a bunch of people. And he's not even really friends with anyone that was there. He's friends with Brittany, he's sort of friends with Stephanie, and he knows Leslie, Lauren, Amanda, but they don't exactly like him. They don't dislike him, but they've never gotten to know him all that well and they haven't particularly been fond of him for the past few years from what they DO know of him. So even if I did invite him, he wouldn't have exactly fit in.

That's just irritating. It's not like it was just a random hang-out, it was for my birthday, and I wanted people that I am close to. And I'm just not close to Spencer anymore. He should understand that and not get all butt-hurt just because he wanted to be included on something.

The last two hours...

Down to my last two hours as a teenager. I've always felt birthdays were special. Some people don't really bother with them, and that's fine and dandy. But I'm always going to do plan something for each birthday I have. What's not special about getting a year older? Twelve months may not seem like much, but considering that's 365 days that you've had to change and to grow, it's something that deserves special recognition. If anything, your birthday is your chance to toast to another year of accomplishing things you didn't accomplish the previous age.

Being 19, admittedly, was not one of my best ages. I felt like I regressed rather than progressed. Yet on the brink of turning 20, I feel I know and understand myself far more than I did when I turned 19. I have a stronger idea of where my feelings come from and why, and I'm anxious to further my boundaries and continue pushing my limits.

On that note, let me say this- having your power shut off and not returning for 14 hours in the middle of summer is not pleasant. It was miserable, to say the least.

TOMORROW'S MY BIRTHDAY.