Tuesday, May 29, 2007
One step too far
I hate when I feel this way. Why do I have to work myself into hyperdrive when I ought to just be content and happy with how things are? I'm not UNhappy, but there's a nagging thought in the back of my head that can't seem to handle what's going on here. No one has ever loved me or cared for me the way he does, so there has to be a catch to all of this. What is that catch? I'm being stupid, but this is how I've always been. I just can't completely accept someone loving me. I always have to look for the "but". "He says he loves me, BUT..." - that's the conversation that always plays out in my head. What is that "but"? What is the catch? There shouldn't be one, because I know he's different than the others. I know he wouldn't play games with me. So why do I keep playing games with myself?
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1 comment:
I know exactly how you feel. I always felt that every relationship I had would be fake, just a convenience. I guess that might be partially due to our past experiences, and probably part to the media and the way men in relationships are portrayed. It took me sooo long to finally accept and trust Torry's love for me, so don't fret, you aren't alone, and if you know in your heart that this guy is different than the others, then just accept the present and don't worry about the future and what underlying motives you think he might have, cuz chances are, it's just a defense mechanism your brain puts up to keep your heart from being fooled again.
LOVE
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