Ongoing.

My aunt hasn't died yet, as we had expected her to on Friday. Just got back from Bishop today with the rest of the family. She is still lingering, so we're taking things one day at a time. She improved slightly this morning from yesterday and the day before. Yesterday morning we had a priest come and administer the last rites, which was probably close to the saddest thing I've ever had to watch in person. Yesterday was just a blur of emotions. My mom, my aunts, my sisters, some of my cousins all crying, then my grandfather worried himself into a panic attack so HE also had to go to the emergency room.

But yesterday afternoon I went with my grandma to church, and it actually turned out to be one of the brighter moments of the day. It just felt beautiful to be in such a peaceful place, in a church that I felt actually represented what I look for in a church. All these other Catholic churches that my family has tried going to around Santa Clarita, they're all so casual, so lax about everything. No one dresses for Mass, the priests deliver such easy-going, uninspiring sermons. It just disgusts me. This church was different; this church was like the church I remember when I was growing up. One of tradition, one of honor. It felt good to be reunited with that feeling. One of the reasons why I stopped going to church was because I got sick of all this new-age bullshit everyone's trying to go for. The way I see it, if you step into a Catholic church you should honor the Mass and honor the church in the way the Catholic church has been structured. If you want to be more lax about it, then that's fine, but leave that for another church. When it comes to the Catholic church, it should be about tradition and about honoring the Lord in a respectful manner, like how the Catholics intended.

I told my grandma about how I want to get back into church, and she told me to start going to RIA classes for adults and finally recieve Confirmation. I was halfway through my studies for Confirmation when we stopped going to church, and a part of me has always regretted that. But the problem is still that I can't find a Catholic church close to where I live that is traditional, because Lord knows Blessed Kateri and OLPH aren't. For Christ's sake at OLPH they allowed some of the congregation to touch the altar and clean up the dishes and cups used for communion. What kind of bullshit is that? Don't they know only the priest is allowed to touch those? I swear. But my grandma did tell me that she and my grandpa read about a traditional Catholic church over near Hart High, so I suppose I can check that out and if it turns out to be the way I like it, then I'll definitely go there and recieve my Confirmation.